a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
