I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
handjob tips. give me some.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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