I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
