y did u give ur computer a hand job?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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