Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So many bounce houses so little time
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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