I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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