I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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