Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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