Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
