so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize