Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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