So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
