I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
