My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
