thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
