hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
