I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
