I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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