but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
