I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
