Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
