Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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