Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize