Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize