then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
