this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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