that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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