you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
