I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
