it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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