Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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