I puked a lego.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
