I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
