I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
