I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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