After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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