Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
