sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
