I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
