I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
