Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
