Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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