My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize