goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
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You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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