Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize