Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
