he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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