her vagine was all disorganized.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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