The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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