Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize