woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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