I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
