At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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