but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize