season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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