I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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